Age: 30 (looks 40)
Kids: None Wants: Yes
Single for: ??
I came across a profile where the guy was traditionally not what I would look for in a boyfriend or someone I would even make out with on a drunken occassion. He wasn’t unattractive, he just wasn’t my type physically. As I read his profile, a bunch of commonalities popped up and I thought, sure, why not. It’s not like I have to marry the guy or I’m obligated to go out with him a second time.
THE FIRST IMPRESSION
He arrived before me. Not sure how long he had been waiting but I was on time. He forewarned me that he cut his facial hair which had me on pins and needles before meeting him because that could be a good thing or a bad thing. When I saw him waiting, I knew it was him only because I received a text from him letting me know he was there. He was dressed in a button down and jeans. He had a nice face kinda like a school teacher or preacher.
We talked while we waited for our table. Initially I thought we were having two different conversations almost as if he confused me with someone else. He commented on my job without really knowing where I work and exactly what I did but I figured it was nerves.
When we sat down, we continued talking. It was as if there was no breaking point between thoughts and it flowed and I appreciated that I could be my inner geek in front of him and talk about Sci-fi. That was fun. He talked about work and projects he was working on as if it were his normal way of impressing girls only to find out that I was more interested in talking about comic books. Our service was pretty slow. When he did stop by the waiter flirted with me which was pretty hilarious. I’m not sure if we looked like the odd couple or if the waiter was just that rude.
After dinner, we went for ice cream. We continued talking for a while and just when I got comfortable, the uncomfortable question pops up: Why are you on the dating site? Which translates to: Why are you single? I can’t just tell the truth and say, because I just haven’t met him yet so here’s my chance to reveal my flaws. I tell him that it’s because I have my guard up and I’m horrible at communicating with guys I actually like. Sad, but true!
He responded with some weird comment about how some women in LA are screwed up and guarded. I just used the word guarded, was he not listening or was this just a nervous reaction to what I said. Keeping a mental note of this one. He proceeds to tell me that his job calls for a lot of demands and because most people don’t see him outside of that environment, it makes him undateable…
After ice cream he asks if we can continue the night. While we had a blast talking, I realized that I had a lot of work cut out for me the next day and I couldn’t help but to think about #3 and #4. In the back of my mind, I wondered if I even had a chance with #3. As physical attraction goes, he’s more my speed. Then, I thought about #4. I think I would have great conversation with #4 and we still haven’t had our second date yet and as physical attraction goes, he’s golden. All this in a fraction of a second to say that I wasn’t physically attracted to #5. I liked talking to him, but I knew this was the guy you’d have to date for a while and then he’d grow on you and you’d get past it… Maybe this is the route I’m supposed to take in finding true love, but I just don’t think I’m ready for any close-ups with Mr. DeMille. 95 more to go, no need to settle.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged it like a bullet and turned into the hug as if it were the best hug ever and slipped back to my car. What can I say, he’s no #3. He asked for a second date and I told him we’d talk next week after my schedule died down… I didn’t want to say, let me see what’s going on with #3 and #4 first. SMH.
I PICTURED OUR FUTURE TO BE
When we spent time together we would talk hours on end about any and everything. Matching Halloween costumes, trips to every tech and film festival imaginable. We’d be that couple that everyone was like, what, really? Roger Ebert started dating Halle Berry?! Then hell would freeze over.
WHAT I LIKED ABOUT HIM
He’s fun to talk to, he’s very witty, and patient.
WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE ABOUT HIM
Not physically attracted to him (yet?). Not the best listener.
WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT MYSELF
I’m too nice. I need to get the hell out of dodge the second I know it’s not going to work and not try to justify it and try to “rationalize” it into working. I used the dreaded, “I’ll call you” line . SMH.